Self-condemnation is someone condemning his own self. Seeing what’s naturally good for him, knowing what’s naturally good for him, hearing what’s naturally good for him, he still persists in going the opposite way.
In life, doing good doesn’t guarantee success or appreciation. Yet, doing bad is “failure in practice.”
It’s better to go with what you think is good, to not go against your own conscience. If the aftermath turns out bad, at least you know there was no better option and thus refrain from condemning your own self.
To do wrong despite knowing or believing that it is wrong, that can land someone in an almost unforgivable state of mind, not forgiving even oneself.
Yet, in life, we don’t always know the outcome of anything. We believe good yields good, and that evil yields evil. But God works in mysterious ways. What we deem good, he sees it as evil because we don’t know everything. And what we think to be evil, he sees it as good because we don’t know everything.
We believe to know good apart of evil, yet we don’t know one apart of the other. We see the rich getting richer, yet the greed of the rich causes him to hire the poor. I see all the spam mail making it to my mailbox, yet the postman is thankful to God that he has a job.
Both the victim and the offender are of one maker, one potter, one lump of clay.
We can’t guarantee ourselves good. We can’t cause ourselves immunity to evil. In everything we do, whether we know it or not, we sow one and the other alike. The outcome may have been good but the original intent was evil. The product may be used to do evil, but the original purpose was a good one.
The Time just came out with an article, “Texas mother died saving daughter ‘clinging’ to her in Harvey flood.” Would it have been better for her to watch her child sucked away from her? For how long would she be carrying such memory?
This is why we cannot rely on what we do to reap joy, peace, or comfort because even what we thought to be our successful achievements are short-lived. What we do and appreciate, others seem to have issues with them. Our successes cause some to hate us or be jealous of us. Our failures cause some to rejoice and be content.
So a joy that doesn’t end cannot come from anything that this life will take away unannounced. Such joy cannot come from our parents, our job, our spouse, our children, our friends because at any moment, either any of these things will walk away from us or we’ll desert them.
Is there such a joy? Is there such a peace independent of life’s circumstances? I once believed that there was such a thing and worked real hard to earn it. I once believed that God was such a thing to all of us and worked real hard to try to keep God’s favor toward me and my family and my friends. But today I no longer believe that God’s favor is such a thing, instead I know that God’s favor is everything.
You read all of your life as a Bible and realize that all the events that took place in your life had very little to do with you. It’s like getting wet by the rain has very little to do with you, if anything at all. First, we didn’t create ourselves. Second, we had no idea of what was coming, or the size of it, or how it was going to impact us in the long term. You never know the exact time that sleep came and left you. Rather than blaming yourself for things that you’d like to control but can’t really, it’s best to simply thank God for all circumstances because no matter what the circumstance, eventually we will have concluded that “it was a good thing that this took place, otherwise I wouldn’t have…”
The late Andrae Crouch wrote in one of his song lyrics, “If I had never had a problem, I would never know that God could solve them.”
My greatest challenge in life was not being certain that God loves me personally. Of course, I worked hard at proving myself that certainly God loves me. I tried always to do the “good” things. And I found myself doing the bad ones, I regret of being me. I always hoped I was that guy who did everything right, the guy everyone talks about. Right, the guy nobody truly knows except those who live in the same house as he does and those who suffer with him. Yet, everything that Christ had said and done and promised is to remind me that God loves me. Everything Jesus had ever said and done and promised is to bring me to the certainty that God loves me. So it’s not what I did or would do that could serve me certainty of God’s love for me. Instead, it’s what Christ has said to me, had done to me and for me, had promised to me that totally serves the certainty that I once craved but could have never achieved by my own efforts but Christ himself.
Eventually, Jesus taught me that he is and will always be my savior and because of such I can breathe and thus be me.
No matter how much I would hope to just press a button and please the whole world, Christ taught me about my weaknesses and not to fear them but rejoice in him who is my strength to breathe.
As Paul once said,
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Sometimes, you feel like you’re under water with no alternate air supply, and thus hold your breath until something good comes along. Now, I tell you that something good did come along, and it is Christ Jesus. So breathe. Breathe in the hope you have in Christ Jesus for the things he is to you, the things he has done for you, the things he has promised you. So breathe in Him, breathe through your hope in Him.