Losing something is never an issue for as long as it’s no longer of any value to me.
I believe that most folks, in their entire lifetime, have been taught by others how to win, but not how to lose, including myself. Knowing how to win without knowing how to lose is like rowing the boat only on one side and not the other.
Not knowing how to lose can cause great pain, huge amount anxiety from always worrying about winning with no room for losing.
“Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?” (see 1 Corinthians 6:7)
When I first read that verse, my first thought was: “What?!”
Jesus said it before in another form:
“But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” (Matthew 5:39-47)
In short, Jesus is saying, “Lose!”
Other than the obvious “Why???”. My real question is, “How???”
I’m so inclined to fight and struggle. I’m so inclined to prove myself right. I’m so inclined to defend myself. How can I “lose” and be glad that I did? That’s the question. How?
If I can learn how to lose, then maybe I won’t wake up every day lining up the challenges that I have to face and seek to win.
If I know how to lose then maybe I will fight less or never at all. Do you know how to lose?
Let me give you a picture of the perfect loser:
“He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.” (see Isaiah 53:1-9)
This is the picture of the perfect loser, Jesus. Because in telling us to turn the other cheek, Jesus said:
“Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48)
Many times, I seek not to be in any situation that would require me to turn the other cheek. But before I know it, it hit me like a train travelling a million miles an hour. Before I know it, I find myself fighting to survive, fighting to prove myself right, fighting to not lose. No one ever told beforehand ot its arrival. The situation just occurs. But only one person had told me what do is such situation: lose.
Jesus is the perfect loser and the perfect winner because the story doesn’t end with him losing it all and also winning it all and more:
“Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand. After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities. Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.”(Isaiah 53:10-12)
Do you know how to lose? Jesus will teach you.
I want to lose ever more than you can imagine. I got no sleep over trying to figure out how to win.
“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” (Matthew 16:25)