I usually feel helpless when someone is offended by what I’ve said or what I’ve done. The very reason is probably that I’ve put my whole self in what I said or did and not only that I felt rejected but also felt helpless not knowing what is it that I could have done differently given my state of mind and the given situation.
When someone is offended by what you said, they don’t usually find what you said or did alone to be offensive. Instead, they find you to be offensive.
This is probably why when people are judging an offense, they quickly bypass the offense to judge the offender because the offense is a fruit of the offender. They leave the fruit behind and go straight for the tree.
Here’s a question people rarely asks: “What or who’s feeding that tree?”
“Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” (Romans 7:20)
Sin constantly has “Got you!” or “Check!” moments with us. And every time this happens, it is quicker and it seems more promising to do as sin expects than to do otherwise. If our eyes are stuck on the problems, we’ll do just as sin expects. But if our eyes and ears are focused on Christ, we have a higher chance of not ceding to our boiled up emotions.
You do have freedom of speech, right? Well, good luck with that.
The freedom that comes from a speech is the freedom of Christ from the hearing of the gospel. When you remember that God loves the person you’re about to dismiss or reject because of that’s person’s offenses, everything changes.
How do we then know that Christ has divorced us from our wrongdoings, from our sins? When we wrong others and ourselves, having seen the consequences or harms that result, we immediately resettle our mind to not ever be partakers of sowing pains and afflictions. I don’t know which hurt the most, whether it’s the pain we’ve caused others or the guilt from realizing the pain we’ve caused others.
We can come with every excuses like “I had help” or “Sin made me do it”. Nevertheless, somebody’s hurting and only Christ can heal him or her.